Am I in an Abusive Relationship?
Physical abuse is only one kind of abuse.
Ask yourself the following questions. Try to answer yourself honestly.
- Can I express anger without my partner becoming verbally or physically abusive?
- Can my partner express anger without becoming verbally or physically abusive?
- Can I go out, get a job or go to school without asking "permission"?
- (Asking "permission" to do something or go somewhere is different than discussing it with
- your partner.)
- Do I cover up or make excuses for my partner's behaviors?
- Am I put down or called names when we are alone or with others?
- Am I blamed whenever things go wrong?
- Is my partner a "nasty drunk" or "abusive drug user"?
- Does my partner control the time I spend with family or friends?
- Am I able to comfortably have friends of the opposite gender?
- Is there a "scene" if I express an opinion opposite to my partner's opinion?
- Am I forbidden to use money or buy things for myself?
- (Again, being "forbidden" is very different from discussing it with your partner.)
- Am I forced to have unwanted sex, even after I've said "no"?
- Do I find myself "walking on eggshells" a good deal of the time? Or any time?
- Does my partner threaten to harm my pet or pets if I (or the children) do not comply with my partner's wishes?
- Has my partner destroyed or damaged things that are important to me, or threatened to do so?
- Am I ever, or hardly ever, at ease with my partner? If not, WHY NOT?
- Am I afraid when I'm with my partner? WHY?
If you (answered "NO" to the first [under construction] questions or answered "YES" to the next [under construction]), you may want to discuss your behaviors with someone.