Am I in an Abusive Relationship?

Physical abuse is only one kind of abuse.
Ask yourself the following questions. Try to answer yourself honestly.

  • Can I express anger without my partner becoming verbally or physically abusive?
  • Can my partner express anger without becoming verbally or physically abusive?
  • Can I go out, get a job or go to school without asking "permission"?
  • (Asking "permission" to do something or go somewhere is different than discussing it with
  • your partner.)
  • Do I cover up or make excuses for my partner's behaviors?
  • Am I put down or called names when we are alone or with others?
  • Am I blamed whenever things go wrong?
  • Is my partner a "nasty drunk" or "abusive drug user"?
  • Does my partner control the time I spend with family or friends?
  • Am I able to comfortably have friends of the opposite gender?
  • Is there a "scene" if I express an opinion opposite to my partner's opinion?
  • Am I forbidden to use money or buy things for myself?
  • (Again, being "forbidden" is very different from discussing it with your partner.)
  • Am I forced to have unwanted sex, even after I've said "no"?
  • Do I find myself "walking on eggshells" a good deal of the time? Or any time?
  • Does my partner threaten to harm my pet or pets if I (or the children) do not comply with my partner's wishes?
  • Has my partner destroyed or damaged things that are important to me, or threatened to do so?
  • Am I ever, or hardly ever, at ease with my partner? If not, WHY NOT?
  • Am I afraid when I'm with my partner? WHY?

If you (answered "NO" to the first [under construction] questions or answered "YES" to the next [under construction]), you may want to discuss your behaviors with someone.

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